Girls, we need to talk! And this is for each and every one of you wooly jerks!

Levi and I went to Dairyland for lunch today. While Levi and I were giving our orders Linda Bartlett gave me some very interesting news. I can see by the guilty shuffling of your hooves that you know exactly what I am talking about. Linda commented to me that my sheep sure do love banana splits. I said, “Whaaaaat?”

Oh, yes, she informed me that every night before closing you guys show up and order cheese fries and banana splits. Seriously, WTF?! Here I am, going crazy, trying to get you guys to lose weight and you’re sneaking out after chores every night to eat junk food!

And “borrowing” Dad’s suburban. Do you realize he’s been suspecting the neighbors of siphoning gas? You guys aren’t even licensed! What if you got pulled over? His insurance would go through the roof!

If you MUST go to Dairyland, here are the rules; #1 You WALK! It’s only a few miles and, let’s face it, you need the exercise! #2 No more cheese fries! You may have salad, no dressing! And #3 NO MORE BANANA SPLITS! A small frozen yogurt, that’s it.

I don’t want to hear any baaaing about it! You guys are in so much trouble right now!